May 1, 2012
Day One: The Socialization Project
Location: Aurora, Colorado
Anyone reading this might think, “Is this some sort of weird psych-sociology project?” My answer is, “Notsomuch...” At which time, you the reader, thinks, “WTF?” or similar. For me, in the real world of this blog, it means that I have, as Ricky Riccardo used to say to Lucy, “some splainin’ to do.”
That said, you, the reader, need some background before I start this project.
I am, amongst many things, a writer. As such, I am intensely curious, as any halfway decent writer must be or else nothing would ever get written. Yet the act of writing - the work - is more isolating than nearly any other job and it can be equated to telecommuting from the top of a mountain. It is much like being a dedicated couch potato, hand permanently clutched around a remote control or a game controller, but with data going the opposite direction. No wonder I stagger away from my computer, looking around as if I just stepped off an alien spaceship. Some days the world looks just that weird.
In my case, couple that writer’s isolation with a spouse who travels, kids who move in and out sporadically, but rarely appear during the daylight, and a really, really big house that gets even bigger when I am all alone. I am alone a lot. Nights alone in particular make me crazy, but what’s a girl to do when she can’t date? (Marriage contract and all that.) Get grumpy, fat and lonely, of course... After all, chocolate is a girl’s best friend, especially when she can eat it while watching someone else do all the dancing, with stars no less.
During the day, I was like so many people, I was busy as most people tend to be during daylight hours. Once five o’clock rolled around, it was a completely different situation. I was not happy, but my choices were limited, and I was at the mercy of my husband’s whimsical travel schedule. Besides, what is there to do at night in the suburbs, anyway? So when he was in town, we did what so many others do; we watched way too much television. When he was away, I did the same, then went to bed and stared at the ceiling. It was isolation, bordering on depression, though at the time, I could not make the connection.
Then, late in 2011, during one of those unusual weeks when my husband was in town, that we got an invitation to play trivia with our son, his friends, and a friend’s mother. We went for it. The following week, we went again. The third week, with my husband on another business trip, I took a deep breath and went alone to meet friends - of my son’s. I adjusted; they adjusted. Now my friends span the decades and as strange as it seems to outsiders, it’s no big thing anymore.
What I did not know then, and did not realize until recently, is that going to trivia was the beginning of a series of life-changing moments, each causing me to ask more questions about how we live.
So- May Day, or May 1st, has long been a festival to celebrate spring, new growth, and beginnings, so I thought it appropriate to begin documenting my observations on socialization, isolation, and the effects on people around us, plus various ways to actively get the socialization that we need, particularly in unusual circumstances. Don’t expect this daily, or for me to write about it exclusively, but rather as the experiences accumulate. And they will - that I know from the past six months of experiences.
